Many people unfortunately represent and habituate these negative characteristics more commonly than most of us desire. Those who make certain choices are very adamant about wearing the "labels" of those choices and trying to change their historical meanings instead of eliminating or removing the labels altogether. Those who see the depiction of negative behavior, especially based on those chosen, should say something when the opportunity presents itself. We must stop being lazy and do the "work" that it takes to change the negative perceptions that others have. This of course starts at home. We must purge the behaviors that cause problems and an insert the values that we KNOW bring more positive fruit. Stop perpetuating the very habits that put us in the cycle of "need" instead of abundance or at least sufficiency and tell those that we recognize are doing it to stop it as well. If one wants to "reap" a better future, he MUST "sow" a better seed. That means understanding the "real life game" and play it according to those rules. Not that you shouldn't push against the limits because we are definitely not saying that. However, observe what is happening and make your choices according to what you see and teach your children how to do the same. In other words, be educated when you make a decision knowing what the likely outcome may be versus being ignorant when you act, or react, and being surprised at the results. The ignorant, arrogant, and impulsive characteristics are what those in control are hoping will influence your decisions, thereby diminishing your effectiveness as a player in "the game". It has worked very well thus far but... it is time for a change.The book entitled Pants Hanging Down by Gene Stubbson seeks to help with some answers to some of the questions we all have and how to make better choices. The goal of PHD is to make a "common sense connection" between you, a more productive thought process and a biblical connection (or reconnection) so that we may raise ourselves to the levels that we desire and should truly expect to reign at in one or various areas of life. If there is someone in your "space" and they are acting in an unbecoming manner, then "say something". That is the way that change begins.
As the book, Pants Hanging Down is being printed, here are a few excerpts. These are unedited excerpts so please read for the content. We were excited and a bit anxious to give you all a "little" something so here it is:
...It is sometimes really hard to ascertain when a person is being honest with you and when they are being deceitful. It takes time to know. By the time it's realized who the person is, many people have invested a lot of time, money and even their hearts in building the relationship. Although many people get caught in the crossfire, it is often women these days that have to be more aware of the men and their deceptive behaviors. Though women are as treacherous as men, this is not about them (this time). There are a large number of men who have what many woman are looking for on the surface but have very little of what counts inside; in their hearts and in their minds. After the formal introductions have been made and you are in the "flow" of the relationship, you, women, have to pay attention. This is not about “busting” the men or stopping their “games”. However, women, need to make sure that the man they have chosen is doing something productive. He needs to show that he is actually someone that can be relied upon. As important as sex or “hitting it right” may be, it is just as important that he work or do something else. Do not continue to take care of this man if he will not at least cut the grass or wash the dishes. If you, the woman, are working and he chooses not to and he has no plans that are “in progress” then “Houston, there is a problem.” It’s one thing to run into a tough stretch in life as many people do. It is another to live on that tough stretch for years and not make an effort to get off. What is sad, even pitiful, is that many women will allow a man to be on that street for years and use the excuse that he uses and make up others in defense of him to her friends just to reinforce the notion that “at least she has a man”. Wrong ma'am. What you have is a male who is "of age"...
Absentee Fathers...Men have always been in the role as leaders. That’s how it was meant to be. The children who are the offspring of these men inertly have a feeling of security when their parents are around; especially their fathers. If someone did something to a child, the child was more inclined to say without thinking, “I’m gonna tell my daddy on you.” Whatever was going on either stopped or the other child would respond by saying that he was going to tell his father. Whatever the case, “dad” had clout. He stood for protection. He represented rules and limits. Even if you misbehaved as a child, all that your mother had to say was, “I’m gonna tell your father” and the mischievous activity was over. You didn’t even think about "acting up" any more because, though you knew your father had your back, you also knew he would break your back (butt) if you got too far out of line. Therefore, respect was an automatic part of this relationship. As long as you were around your father there was a way that you behaved and it was usually the correct way. Even in your most playful moments you knew the limits. The mere presence of the man meant a certain type of behavior. As a child, there was someone who you had to respect. He was responsible for you and everyone knew it. More importantly you knew. The respect that you had for your own father was shown for other men to some degree because they also represented or commanded it by doing nothing more than being the proper age. Even those who were maybe not as "upright" in their “lifestyles” were shown a degree of respect. The words that were spoken were as important coming from your father as any you ever heard. They reverberated with you even in his absence. You knew what to do and what not to do because you remembered what he had said. He did not have to be there. And if you forgot, then the reminder by another person, especially another man, was sufficient.
Here is why those absentee fathers who choose to be away from the children have their pants hanging way down. "Effective" is one word that describes a father. A child is more inclined to follow his lead if he shows them which way to go. The “healthy fear” of his authority compels the child to do what “dad said” just because he said it. The child then learns “why” through his experience in that situation. However, we have a generation of young men who are trying to lead who have no good examples to follow. It’s like trying to build a house with no blueprint. There is no way that it can be done properly. There is no way to know where the plumbing goes. You have to guess. You can not know where the doors and windows should be. You have to approximate. Though your mother may be able to point and show you what it should look like, if she is not a builder herself, she can not tell you or show you how to build the house. Only a builder who has done the work can really tell you. As metaphorically illustrated, a woman cannot show a boy how to be a man. She can tell him. She can even illustrate or point to good examples of men. However she can not show him....
Most of us accept the adage that "it takes a village to raise a child." However, when a child makes a big mistake in judgement or conduct, we don't blame the village, we blame the child. Rather than simply focus on the child, this book invites the village to look in the mirror for real answers to the troubles of our children. The village has changed and yet we question why our children have changed. Sorting out the ills of the village is the "true prescription" for healing the village's sick children.
"Pants Hanging Down" (phd) is an excellent book that gets you thinking. It's an introspective work which analyzes and reviews the "causes and effects" of the lack of participation of "the village" in raising the children.
Our goal is to "pull up" ONE MILLION "pairs of pants". Help us to do this by checking back and also leaving your info on the "contact us" page so we can let you know the release date for the book. And get a copy for yourself!
.......PRESALES HAVE ALREADY BEGAN...... Conversations are beginning everywhere we go about the subject and we love it. There are many, many people who have issues they wish to discuss and we are getting them started. Go to the blog and put yours in.
- What do you think about a child that hits his mother ?
- What are your true feelings about "tattoos"?
- How much tattooing is too much?
- How do you feel about the people like Don Imus who call women "bitches and hoes" ?
- What do you think about a man who doesn't work and let's the woman take care of all the responsibilities?
- Is "keeping it real" what people really are doing?
- Do they understand what "real" actually is?
- What is stylish about showing your underwear?
- What comes to mind when you think about what "cool" means?
- Why is wanting to be a "thug" so appealing?
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Gene Stubbson at FOX 26 Studio.
Gene poses with Fox news anchor Jose Grinan, host of tv show, "The Black Voice" after taping interview.
On Oprah :
Bill Cosby was on her show discussing very candidly the issues that we need to hear. He was upset at what he sees as the "destructive" behaviors of our own people and the lack of "proper parenting". I was having an "out-of-body" experience because he was discussing the very subjects in "Pants Hanging Down". I need everyone to buy and read PHD. It is very, very timely and I and my associates are confident that you will not be disappointed in the least. The Paypal system has been activated so that you may purchase your book from this site.
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SALES HAVE ALREADY STARTED!!
350 and Constantly
Go to the email to answer the question and with your comments about the book.
Pants Hanging Down
COMING SOON to you!!
The states of Texas and Louisiana are beginnning to enforce the ordinance that causes a fine of up to $500.00 per offense to be administered to those who are seen with their "pants hanging down". As of December 12, 2007, Atlanta has passed a law banning the showing of underwear because of the "saggy pants".
What do you think about your child being thought about the same way as the "thug-type" young men?
Gene and Marcus Davis, owner of The Breakfast Klub.
Gene and entertainer, comedian, and friend, Thomas Miles of the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Gene Stubbson and Princeton professor, Dr. Cornell West at reception after "Success vs. Greatness" Forum at University of Houston Central Campus.
Gene Stubbson and book endorser, Pastor Willie Jones of New Mount Calvary MBC in Houston, Texas.
Gene Stubbson at the signing of Pants hanging Down.
Online Purchase Incentive
As a way to say "thank you" Gene Stubbson has agreed to "sign' those copies of the books that are purchased through Stubb's Place, his online store. Once you have completed your purchase, go to the "Contact Us" page on this site. Leave the purchase confirmation number and name to whom you'd like the book addressed in the 'comment' section and it will be done.
John Chiles, Joyce Delores Taylor, President of Student Government Association at University of Houston CLear Lake, and Gene at Pants Hanging Down Life Improvement Series presentation.
Gene and world class poet, Se7en, at World Aids Day event at Texas Southern University.
Gene with Kendra Edwards, former administrator of Families Under Urban and Social Attack(FUUSA) and current executive director of Bethel's Place at presentation on FUUSA campus.
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